Not Always Easy

It's funny how we can make plans and dream dreams and in a split second life can change. I've been noticing it more and more recently as even the things that I have been hoping for and praying for seem to crumble around me without ever coming to life. I think these ideas are from God and then they don't go the way I thought they would, I find myself questioning whether I had heard from God to begin with. I've come to realize that things happen and we don't always understand why but these times become defining moments in our lives as to how we move forward.

I have a friend who is like a dad to me who was one of the most vibrant people I ever met. He loved God and taught me about living - real living - not canned Christianity but really living out loud. Unfortunately a stroke 2 years ago and bad medical decisions completely changed his life and his family's. Before he had his stroke he was telling me about dreams that he had been dreaming and praying about and things that he felt God was calling him to do. He was so excited at the time but barely a week later his life was turned upside down leaving behind loved ones with a lot of questions and desperately clinging to the goodness and omnipotence of a God who knows the end from the beginning. Not what was expected at all. So were those dreams and visions he had from God? Is God going to miraculously fulfill them in his life? Do we listen to the report of doctors and nurses who say that his loved ones should just let him go or do we believe the report of the God that heals?

This young man that I met a year ago was a great guy, says he knew the Lord but was not really walking with Him at the time. But there was amazing potential there. During the last year I didn't have much contact with him but recently ran into him again and was surprised to find that he was not the same person I had known a year ago. The potential that had been there now seemed to be lost, buried behind a wall of lies and deception. I had made a commitment to pray for this guy when I could see the potential for God to do great things in him. Now that the view is not so clear, do I still pray for him? Do I still pray for his return to the Lord when I don't even care to see him again? Do I still cry out for something that seems impossible' to the God of the impossible?

What about the fact that I had big dreams of doing something great, of changing my situation and circumstances. Dreams that I felt for sure God had planted in my heart and I was growing more excited about by the minute. Then one day factors changed and all of a sudden the change that I was longing for suddenly became invisible amidst a cloud of doubt and a broken heart. What happens when I can't see the 'vision' anymore? Were those ideas and thoughts from God? If they were why are they now changing? Do I resign myself to 'perish'? or do I trust that God already knew this change was going to take place and He still has a plan for my life that will give me a future and a hope when all I see is a dead end?

As much as I hate it, life on this fallen planet is not always easy. Decisions and choices that we face every day are hard. Trusting God with it sometimes, at least for myself, comes in as the runner up because my human nature thinks if I can control the situation I can correctly predict my destiny. Here's the problem with that though -

(1) God's ways are not our ways. His thoughts higher than ours.
(2) He is the God who calls things that are not as though they were.
(3) He says He will never leave us or forsake us.
(4) He is the One who gave up His only Son for me to have eternal life. He knows sacrifice and pain.

Makes me stop and repent for ever doubting Him. Yet He knows that I do and I will and He still loves me and continues to draw me to Him. Things don't always turn out the way we expect it but we have the choice to trust God or ourselves. I don't know about you, but my track record hasn't been too great so I'm going to go with God no matter what because in this life, I will need as much help as I could get.