There are some days when even a lot of chocolate doesn’t help and I just had one of those yesterday. This could be attributed to the fact that I am a woman and my emotions skyrocket out of control at the drop of a hat. For some strange reason at times like these, everything that I’ve learned in my entire Christian walk can just that easily flees from my memory at the precise moment when I really need to recall some of it. Go figure!
Situations between family and friends often get sticky. I absolutely hate it. I figure if I could design my own world everyone would get along perfectly…oh yeah, I can see how it must have been God’s desire too but what is that little pesky thing that always gets in the way again? Oh yes, sin and the flesh. Yuck! I tell you what some days I want to strip off this humanness with all its pain, selfishness, awkwardness and pride and throw it in the garbage where it belongs because it stinks.
It’s funny how the people we love the most, those who love us the most and those who know us best turn out to be the ones that give us the most joy but can also end up hurting us the most as well. What a concept. Could anyone have betrayed our Lord Jesus except one that knew Him so well? It’s a vicious cycle joy, hurt, pain, forgiveness, joy etc. However as long as there is forgiveness it’s okay because only then can Christ heal our hearts and repair what was broken.
It’s in moments of deepest pain when I forget all the promises of God temporarily, when I question His plan or purpose and doubt that He even has one. In the depths of my heart and soul I know those thoughts to be utterly false but it’s like verbal vomit and it just erupts from me based on my emotions and not what I know to be true. So am I ever thankful for the truth and the grace of God demonstrated through persistent and godly friends who talk me down from the ledge (not that I always want to hear it at the time) but eventually it builds a bridge from emotion to truth.
I know that God never gives us more that we can handle…some days I think I’m teetering on the edge of my threshold to be quite honest but here is one thing that I know…His grace is sufficient for me and His strength is made perfect in my weakness. So when something challenging comes along I can get upset or crazy or angry or sad but how I deal with it will determine how much control I’m willing to let God have and how much of my pride I’m willing to let go off or swallow I should say. That’s stuff a person could choke on! :)
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