As most of you know by now, I am engaged to be married to the love of my life Joseph Turner. How surreal it’s been after dreaming about being in this place for so long. God in His amazing grace has blessed me beyond what I deserve. However, I’ve had rollercoaster emotions to go along with it and a thousand questions. The other day I was having a minor meltdown as the prospect of all the upcoming changes loomed in front of me. I mean I’ve lived at home for…well let’s just say a lot of years, been responsible for other people. Now, here I am on the verge of getting married and taking on the responsibility of my own home and a husband.
A husband! No longer do I have to report to anyone except him. Naturally I wonder about so many things; am I going to be a good wife? Am I going to disappoint him? What’s it going to be like to share a home with him? What if he doesn’t like my decorating ideas? What if I don’t like his? What about my cooking? Are we going to travel? When will we move? How will we handle issues that arise? Then even before that there is the actual wedding to be concerned about. How’s the engagement party going to go? Or the bridal shower? Are people going to show up? Is it going to be a beautiful day for our wedding? Is it going to be memorable? Is everyone going to be blessed? Questions! Questions! Questions! It’s a good thing I have my amazing fiancé to reassure me that it’s natural to be nervous but these changes are all for the better. Whew! Or else I may have lost a lot more hair from pulling them out.
Let’s face it change is scary. It’s the fear of the unknown, that taking a leap of faith and trusting to land on solid ground. So far God’s hand seems to be on this upcoming marriage, from meeting each other, through our courtship, the proposal and still now as we plan to spend the rest of our lives together. It’s been a magnificent whirlwind to be caught up in. We both recognize that we are just recipients of God’s goodness and His unconditional love and it is our prayer that we don’t waste a second of His gift.
